Top 10 Unlikeliest Weapons in Video Games
Because video games are not so bound by the oppressive rules of reality, they can imbue power to anything the developer wishes. Thus, any object in the hands of the right character and imbued with the right abilities, can be a deadly weapon. Here are some of the strangest tools of death and destruction ever to fit on disc or cartridge.
10. Gambit's Cards, X-Men Legends (PS2 / GameCube / Xbox)
Technically Gambit's power isn't in his cards, but his mutant ability to make inanimate objects detonate by touch. However, this ability is almost exclusively applied to his playing cards, which he throws as projectiles in X-Men Legends. Aside from keeping with his image as a gentleman thief, the cards have no inherent value and are among the least aerodynamic objects Gambit could pick. Perhaps there's some utility to his "throw the entire deck at the bad guy rapid-fire" finishing move, but couldn't he do the same with a bag of pebbles, a bunch of small knives, or something else with a more convenient shape? Then again, Gambit doesn't seem to have any problems with his current poker-themed fighting style, so why fix what isn't broken?
9. Metal Blades, Mega Man 2 (NES)
Of all the weapons Mega Man absorbs, most of them are inherently improbable. Among the projectiles to come out of the Mega Buster include cement, slinkies, shields of flower petals, and the centrifugal spin of a top. Compared to these, the giant saw blades of Metal Man aren't so bizarre, but their power far exceeds what one might expect. The Metal Blade does heavy damage to most enemies, has a high ammunition capacity, and best of all, shoots rapid-fire in eight different directions. Most of the bosses are vulnerable to the miracle disc, and more than a couple are weak to its serrated edges. In one of the greatest moments of comic irony in video games, Metal Man himself dies with only one hit from his own weapon!
8. Rotten Eggs, Resident Evil 5 (PS3 / Xbox 360)
Like most video games, Resident Evil allows you to heal your character by eating pieces of food you acquire. Unlike most video games, Resident Evil punishes you for eating spoiled food, in this case with the rotten eggs in the fifth game (which, unlike their fresh counterparts, immediately change your status to Dying). Unlike the vast majority of video games, Resident Evil 5 allows you to use the rotten eggs as a lethal weapon. With a single toss of putrid yolk, Chris Redfield can kill any enemy in the game.
7. Bodily Functions, Boogerman (SNES / Genesis)
The gimmick behind Interplay's mediocre platformer is the only thing it's remembered for today. Boogerman's powers were not just limited to flinging his mucus at his foes (hence the sub-title "A Pick and Flick Adventure"), but he could also dispatch enemies with a short-range belch and fly with his flaming flatulence. This definitely made Boogerman a unique character, if nothing else.
6. The Fruits and Veggies, Plants vs. Zombies (iOS / DS / PS3 / Xbox 360 / PC)
Few would expect plants to be a good defense against the hordes of the walking dead, but PopCap has made massive profits proving the world wrong. Of course, the Plants fighting the Zombies have properties most garden-variety vegetables lack. Courtesy of Crazy Dave's Twiddliedinkies, players have access to machine-gun pea shooters, freeze-blast mushrooms, literal cherry bombs, and giant venus fly traps. This is only a small list of the many plants in Plants Vs. Zombies, and it doesn't even go into the expensive upgraded plants (including the corn cob missile silo).
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Neil Kapit is a freelance writer, cartoonist, and "La Li Lu Le Lo" agent based in Los Angeles. His work can be seen on www.therubynation.com.
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